19 Years Ago

to the day
yet I feel nothing
this being
the first occurrence
of feeling nothing
on the anniversary
of my mother’s death

this anniversary
has never passed
without some murky
emotional turmoil

it is about time
I’d say
and although I am happy
to not be feeling wretched
relieved for the normalcy
and the ability
to remember her
without melancholy
I’m a little sad
to be feeling
so okay